PRESENTS
Why do tomorrow what a machine can do for you today?
- Have a
- Heard about your
- Wishing you a
- Turns out you had a
- Sorry I gave you a
- The doctor said it's a
- Apparently it's a
- Apologies about the
- Life is like a
- Your mom said you had a
- Thanks for the
- I owe you a
- High five on your
- Let's celebrate our
- #omg
- hash tag
- I love your
- I've been dreaming of a
- Take me to your
- You remind me of a
- Tell Grandma about the
- Congratulations on the
- It's a
- Merry
- Lovely
- Hairy
- Super Duper
- Floral
- On Fleek
- Shiny
- Moist
- Dank
- Fragrant
- Basic
- Bodacious
- Odoriferous
- XXL
- Venti
- Womens-cut
- Pointless
- Soggy
- Chilly
- Sassy
- Spicy
- Delightful
- Delicious
- Saucy
- Sexy
- Bland
- Moldy
- Terrific
- Optimistic
- Gluten Free
- Vegan
- Average
- Passible
- Tolerable
- Chock-full
- Pimptastic
- Itchy
- Spite-free
- Spite-filled
- Oblivious
- Calorie-filled
- Rash-free
- Free-range
- Organic
- Enlightened
- Spiritual
- Effervescent
- Bubbling
- Star-spangled
- Flaccid
- Turnt
- Girthy
- Crunchy
- Ransacked
- Granola
- Bitter
- Sour
- Post-modern
- Fuel-injected
- Track suit.
- Accident.
- Dadbod.
- Chewbacca.
- Stocking.
- Fundraiser.
- Festivus.
- Stocking.
- Full body wax.
- Bike rally.
- Cavity search.
- Krampus.
- Beach Party.
- Grandpa kisses.
- Elf on the Shelf.
- Twitter beef.
- Puppy cuddle.
- Uber ride.
- Incarceration.
- Hump day.
- Leap year.
- Life event.
- Birthday.
- Boondoggle.
- Quagmire.
- Prenup.
- Police escort.
- Fetish.
- Jury duty.
- Acquittal.
- Vasectomy.
- Lobotomy.
- Movie night.
- Binge watch.
- Mustache.
- Luau.
- Pau Hana.
- Yoga pants.
- Yoga class.
- Movie Deal.
- Prom.
- Candy Cane.
- Retirement.
- Fantasy Football.
- Sweet Sixteen.
- Procedure.
- Arraignment.
- Get-away.
- Podcast.
- Yelp review.
- Outburst.
- Life style.
- Nuptials.
- Elopement.
- Secret identity.
- Fruitcake.
- Mutation.
- White elephant.
- Yay.
- Let's hope it lasts forever.
- That is what she said.
- And chill.
- Mahalo.
- Bye Felicia.
- Mic drop.
- C ya wouldn't wanna be ya.
- BYOB
- Smell ya later.
- Happy Holidays.
- Can you not.
- It's not you, it's me.
- I hope this isn't creepy.
- You may now kiss the bride.
- It's got electrolytes.
- May the force be with you.
- Aye carumba!
- Check your tire pressure.
- Mañana.
- Stay classy.
- And that's the way it was.
- Elvis has left the building!
- LOL.
- So long and thanks for all the fish.
- It's been real.
- Hang ten.
- Please retweet.
- Call me maybe?
- You're welcome.
- Later. much.
- XXOO
- Sayonara.
- I'll be back.
- Thank ya, baby.
- Ya blew it.
- .jpg
- High five!
- What goes around comes around.
- FYI.
- Hey macarena!
- Sent from my iPhone.
- Don't ask questions.
- Do as I say. Not as I do.
- Ffffffffffrrrrrrrunnnkkissss!
- I'll try harder next time.
- Let's start over.
- Now get out.
- Sorry. Not Sorry.
- I hope it clears up.
- Jinx! Knock on wood.
- Roll credits.
- Peace out.
- I hope we can still be friends.
- La-dee Friggin Dah.
- This will be epic.
- Booyah.
- Let's never speak of this again.
- I got the next one.
- Etcetera.
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Making stuff up since 1992.
